Losing Grip
Hey readers , long time no see . Sorryfor not writing too long. Lately I got a little bit busy -__- And somehow I just finding time for all my own .
So ,I've got some questions again in my head First , have you ever feel like you are so small, even you felt that there's no one who'll notice you enter the room ? Because I do. And some of my experience have proven it. Then, there's another question, do you like to wonder , how can people around you , never ever think about their future, and just having 'fun' which is fake , I think , I don't know.And how come that people get what they want easily without a need to struggle.
Somehow I feel desperate, like what I've done never satisfied me, and never pleased my family. I mean I felt so small like what I've done is meaningless. NO ONE ever realize me , till now , I guess.
It will be just the same like it used to . Okay , it's just so random but still bother me sometimes.
By the way, tomorrow I'll get PPI first training. Hosh -____- actually I'm not in good condition. And the training is not the kind of having fun training. I just felt a little bit depressed about it. I mean I'm one of some trainees that being hoped can do better than others. And what can I give ? I gave them such a disappointment :/
Look , I just can't handle everything on my own. I'm just so wrong that I once thought I can do it all alone. .__. And now everything just going to ruin up my statement. My body got worse and worse by day . And now I'm needing someone to hold on . I'm just so scared I can't satisfied everyone that I loved . Everyone that have put a trust on me. I'm scared of being small . I want someone will notice me , and say everything will be alright.
So ,I've got some questions again in my head First , have you ever feel like you are so small, even you felt that there's no one who'll notice you enter the room ? Because I do. And some of my experience have proven it. Then, there's another question, do you like to wonder , how can people around you , never ever think about their future, and just having 'fun' which is fake , I think , I don't know.And how come that people get what they want easily without a need to struggle.
Somehow I feel desperate, like what I've done never satisfied me, and never pleased my family. I mean I felt so small like what I've done is meaningless. NO ONE ever realize me , till now , I guess.
It will be just the same like it used to . Okay , it's just so random but still bother me sometimes.
By the way, tomorrow I'll get PPI first training. Hosh -____- actually I'm not in good condition. And the training is not the kind of having fun training. I just felt a little bit depressed about it. I mean I'm one of some trainees that being hoped can do better than others. And what can I give ? I gave them such a disappointment :/
Look , I just can't handle everything on my own. I'm just so wrong that I once thought I can do it all alone. .__. And now everything just going to ruin up my statement. My body got worse and worse by day . And now I'm needing someone to hold on . I'm just so scared I can't satisfied everyone that I loved . Everyone that have put a trust on me. I'm scared of being small . I want someone will notice me , and say everything will be alright.
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